"Come and Die"

Earlier this year, I took on the resolution to "die to self." As a Christian, you may have heard that phrase many times, and you may, like me, think you understand it but realize that when you actually try to describe what it is that it becomes large and slippery.

I've been trying to degrease this pig for the last several months. A quote from John Calvin shed some light on it for me a little while ago, and now this quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer does the same. I still don't have a firm grasp on the meaning, let alone the application, but I'm closer. I feel it's a particularly good time of the year to contemplate such things on the eve of Good Friday.

Here's the quote (I would say enjoy, but I don't think that's the point):

The cross is laid on every Christian. The first Christ-suffering which every man must experience is the call to abandon the attachments of this world. It is that dying of the old man which is the result of his encounter with Christ. As we embark upon discipleship we surrender ourselves to Christ in union with his death—we give over our lives to death. Thus it begins; the cross is not the terrible end to an otherwise god-fearing and happy life, but it meets us at the beginning of our communion with Christ. When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die. It may be a death like that of the first disciples who had to leave home and work to follow him, or it may be a death like Luther’s, who had to leave the monastery and go out into the world. But it is the same death every time—death in Jesus Christ, the death of the old man at his call. (The Cost of Discipleship, 99)


HT: John Piper

The sweet whisper and grand tsnaumi of His kindness...

....i was in Charlottesville, Virginia recently with the funniest man in America [Jon Stewart the Conservative Future Talk Show Host], visiting a few of his friends who are 2L's at UVA. Which, in case you were not aware, is one of the premier institutions of legal education in the country. Their law library has a quote at its entrace from Bobby Kennedy about the 'smallest' most seemingly insignificant actions instigating chain reactions that swell up into insurmountable forces that can potentially overcome oppression, barriers, etc.

Kind of like a tsnaumi of kindess. That's what i've been feeling lately, as if it is all around me, sent forth from the hand of God Himself and washing away all my depravity, mistakes, and human frailty. I was cruising through Romans this morning and my mind kept sticking on:

Romans 2:4 [ESV] Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?

I think this kindness is a bit like a multi-faceted and ubiquitious manifestation of which B-Kennedy articulated but a sliver. For when i reflected on the sheer immensity of the Lord Jehovah Jirah's provision of kindness in my life, i stand shocked, awed, and utterly undone before His pristeen glory.

You see this through the kind actions of strangers, friends, family, and at times, those from whom you would never had expected anything. And the continued gift of life, of breathing each day, of driving down Academy Blvd. and beholding the expansive ampitheatre that are His gorgeous mountains. Such beautiful handiwork, strewn out like a bold statement for us to see each day. And i began to realize...His kindness is continual, perpetual...persistent, and unrelenting in my life. His love overflows to the point of sacrafice and intrusion into my human, depraved, and erroneous plans for my life.

What a fool i am.

How often i think i know where to go, what to do, who to talk to, how to talk to them....

and then reality happens. Kindness happens. Like a sweet whisper.....

i have heard only one school's name whispered to me in prayer these past six months....'michigan.' it seems the only place capable of deterring what seems to be His tsnaumi of kindness in bestowing out financial and academic blessings at pepperdine....there has been signpost after signpost. Scripture, further prayer, and elders tell me i will have to make a choice in the coming months. That something will happen....i think it already is....His kindness has come both in quiet tones and with vast trumpeting....what a choice to make....loud or soft, i believe His will and glory shall be accomplished mightily in my life for all to see.

What a gracious God we serve....I am so thankful He does not hold me to all of my words. And i am overwhelmed with the kindness of the most breathtaking, scintillating, and gorgeous gifts he sometimes puts in the most deprived, barren, and unexpected places in our lives. Like a true living water of life, His kind touch flows in and i feel that in that moment, His heart must be shouting with such force [but restrained, so as not to instantaneously annihilate me in a consuming fire] the words that have been echoing through my soul's chord this blessed day...."do you know, Matthew, what i have in store for you? do you know my kindness leads you to turnabout on your course and seek me anew? keep striving after Me...seek ME"

and so i shall. onward i tread with renewed hope in my heart, a heart full of grateful humility and shocked awe at His gifts in my life, and chances i never thought would even be possible.